Where did the summer go?

My oh my, the summer did fly. Although, the weather is still quite summery for us Canadians, so I will not complain about that! September is here already, and school has begun. Getting back into the routine of things was a bit of a challenge, but I am almost enjoying it. I am not really enjoying letting my baby go off to Kindergarten, but I guess that is part of life, letting go. (insert big sigh here)

The thing I am excited about is getting into a routine of not eating out on a whim, or eating at my parents on a whim. I am down 96 pounds now. Not as much as I would have liked to lose this summer, but you will not hear me complain about losing 96 pounds. When I am at home in my perfect bubble I have self control. I go out, or over to someone’s house, and *poof* what diet? I am working on it, and getting better, slowly I might add. It has been a good challenge for me, because real life does not involve staying in a bubble all the time. I don’t think that would be much fun either.

Four more pounds to go…wish me luck.

Published in: on September 9, 2006 at 5:59 pm  Comments (1)  

Ah yes, neglecting the blog. I don’t know why, every time I think I should write in here, I don’t want to. Everyday living gets in the way of the things you wish to put as priorities in your life sometimes. I wish I was more of a disciplined, dedicated to my goals kinda person. Alas, I am not. Not even close. I am a go with the flow, whatever happens, happens kind of gal. The thing is, I hate it. I hate that I always have a long list of chores to do, (see I make lists) but never get anywhere near getting them done. I have a long list of friends to catch up with, but laundry, or errands get in the way. I am not really sure where I am going with this, because I do not have any deep revelations, or ideas on how to handle this. I don’t suppose making a list will help now will it?

On the weight loss front things are going well. Slowly going well. I am down 90 pounds now. Yup, 90. Wow, that is an accomplishmentif I have ever made one. Go me. I don’t know how much more I want to lose. I am comfortable in my own skin now which is a great thing. I have a little tummy still I would like to go, and flabby arms that need toning. Other than that, I am pretty darn happy with the whole body image deal. I guess I do accomplish my goals sometimes now don’t I??

Published in: on July 24, 2006 at 5:27 pm  Leave a Comment  

What a difference 75 pounds makes…

I have lost 75 pounds now.  Seventy five.  SEVENTY FIVE POUNDS.  As you can tell, it has not quite sunk in yet.  I feel amazing.  I can't even begin to tell you how freeing it is to shed this fat shell I was wearing.  I feel so normal.  I used to always think people were looking at me because I was so big.  Now when they look at me I think "What, do I have something in my teeth?"  It is so nice shopping for clothes when you have a shape.  Now I look for something that flatters my good curves instead of hiding my bad curves. 

 I have become obsessed with reading weight loss blogs.  I feel such comradery with women like me battling the same war.  I cry for them when they fail and beat themselves up, and rejoice with them when they reach their goals.  That is another reason I like Weight Watchers.  Loosing weight is such a hard challenge, why not have some support and help to make it a little easier to fight? 

Sometimes I get frustrated at seeing how far I would still like to go, and how long it is taking.  All I have to do however, is take a look at how far I have come, and how much smaller my butt is, and I am much happier.  It is that whole perspective thing again.  Like Martha says, it is a good thing. 

Published in: on March 31, 2006 at 5:50 pm  Leave a Comment  

A Great day!

Okay, who on earth would think a morning in the grocery store would bring about such joy?  God does work in mysterious ways because it was a great morning shopping.  (and I even brought my five year old!)  So, I am trying to get in and get my groceries as quickly as possible so I don’t have to drive home in the blizzard that is just starting as I get to the store.  I get all my stuff, and I see the two crazy long line ups.  Okay, they have over 15 registers, and they have two cashiers?  Crazy.  So just as I am about to hit the end of one line, a new cashier waves me over to come to her.  Loved her right away.  So then, when I am paying she can’t read my signature on my credit card.  She asked me for my drivers license, so I hand it over.  Then, get this… she looks at it and says incredulously “this is you?” I wanted to hug her.  She did not recognize me with all the weight gone.  That brings such joy to my heart.  It also makes me happy because  almost every single person who has noticed my weight loss has been looking at me from behind when they notice.  I can’t even tell you how many times I have heard from behind me “WOW, you have lost weight!” It cracks me up, but really makes me wonder how extremely large my butt was to begin with. Well, whether from in front or behind, when someone compliments me, I will take it!

Published in: on March 10, 2006 at 6:48 pm  Leave a Comment  

Long Journey’s

This past nine months I have lost 65 pounds.  It feels amazing.  I feel like me again.  Which is strange really.  I have always been me.  I have just had this shell of fat over me that I hid in.  I am more comfortable in my own skin now.  I don’t worry about sitting in smaller chairs, or squeezing in between friends in the kitchen, things like that.  Letting go of those fears has brought me out more. Out of my shell.  I hating looking at myself in the mirror, so I tried to never have the attention on me because I did not want others to see what I saw.  It sounds silly now that I type it, but it was very real to me.  

This journey of weight loss has really been about so much more than weight.  It is about choices, sticking to those choices, discovering why I do the things I do.  It has been one interesting journey, one I am very thankful for.   Before I started losing weight, I prayed, cried, wished with all my heart that the weight would just be gone.  I pleaded with God to take it away, telling Him I could not do it myself.  It was just to hard for me.  Then one day a light bulb went on in my head.  I could do it, I want to do it, and I will do it.  I am not doing it alone, God is my strength, my husband has been so supportive as well as my friends.  I have learned not to settle for good enough in my life anymore.  My weight right now?  I am happy where I am, I feel comfortable in my skin.  But I have more to go, it is not good enough.  I want to actually feel sexy for my hubby.  Never in my life have I felt that way, no matter how many times he tells me I am already.  I know when I am done my journey, I will have hanging skin, and those stretch marks will still be there.  However, if I have all my big lumps and bumps gone, that will be a wonderful day.  I will feel sexy that day.  Stretch marks and all.



Published in: on March 6, 2006 at 6:41 pm  Leave a Comment